


I'm holding on to you

by somerandomperson



Series: Words for Inktober [14]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: First Dates, M/M, POV Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 02:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16399355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somerandomperson/pseuds/somerandomperson
Summary: Derek is waiting for Stiles, hoping that he will, fearing that he is about to be rejected. But it's worth the risk, Stiles is worth the risk.





	I'm holding on to you

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 14 - Clock 
> 
> This is probably quite a tangent away from the prompt. But when I was thinking about clocks all I could think about was the song Broken by Lifehouse and the lyrics and how they fit Derek so well. 
> 
> "The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep at night, maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time, but I am still here waiting, I still have my doubts I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out. I'm falling apart, barely breathing, with a broken heart that's still bleeding, in the pain, there is healing, in your name, I've found meaning, so I'm holding on, I'm still holding on to you."
> 
> I'm also working with my personal head canon that Beacon Hills is near Redding in California.

Derek rubbed his hands against his trousers, then smoothed out the fabric against his thighs.   
He was too early outside the restaurant but he thought that waiting there was better than pacing up and down in his apartment. Now he was here outside the restaurant he wasn't quite sure. 

Derek took a deep breath and then another. He could feel the nervous energy thrumming through him. This seemed such a little thing to get worked up about, when he thought about all the things he had dealt with over the past few years. 

Yet here he was sat outside Beacon Hill's only Italian restaurant in proper slacks and shirt. He had thought about putting on a tie but it seemed a little too much, so he stuck with the shirt. 

Derek checked his phone and it was still 7:45 and they weren't supposed to meet until 8pm. He shoved the phone back into his pocket resisting the urge to check that he had received a confirmation from Stiles about the date and time. 

He knew that Stiles wouldn't be so cruel as to stand him up but he couldn't help but think that there wasn't very reasons for Stiles to turn up at all. Stiles was now 23 and settled in well at the California Bureau of Investigation in Sacramento while Derek was a deputy in Beacon Hills 3 hours away. 

Stiles drove back at least once a month to see his dad and he would always make sure that he had popped in to see Derek as well. It had confused Derek at first that Stiles would keep hunting him out just to say hi when he was in town. No matter where Derek had been Stiles would show up. If he was in the supermarket Stiles would be ambling down the aisles. If he was at the apartment Stiles would be driving past. If he was running in the woods he would come back to his car to find a familiar blue jeep parked next to it. 

Derek never knew quite what to make of it, but he couldn't deny that he was always glad to see Stiles. To spend a few minutes talking about their days. IT wasn't like they didn't communicate in other ways, Stiles was always sending him messages memes articles that he found interesting. 

The supernatural crisis’s seemed to have tapered off, thank god, which left those left standing to start rebuilding their lives.

It had taken Derek a long time to reply in anything but short messages, but he never could quite ignore Stiles messages and let Stiles think that he didn't want to hear from him. When Stiles had left for college and Derek was travelling around with Cora, Derek had started to think about what he wanted to do with his life. Stiles had been a useful sounding board, once he had worn off his surprise that Derek was confiding in him. 

Stiles had been very helpful when Derek had decided to take his deputy exam and spent night after night going over the material with Derek despite having a full load of courses to complete himself. 

Stiles had slowly become a constant in Derek's life, one that he quietly cherished. There had been many evenings when Derek had set up his laptop on the kitchen counter with Stiles on Skype while he cooked. These were the moments that meant the most to Derek. It was a precious thing to have someone who cared, who wanted to share these every day moments with. Derek had always thought that this wo9uld change when Stiles found someone, that they would slowly taper off as he shared his life with someone else. 

Although Stiles had dated, even once seriously, but that had not stopped their conversations. Derek had waited for the skipped calls, the delayed responses to messages but it never came. Stiles had rescheduled but he always found time for Derek. 

Derek had been at the station in Beacon Hills for a couple of years now and he really enjoyed it. He could still protect the town and he had a place that was his and it felt that it was beginning to feel like home again. When Stiles had graduated and got a job in Sacramento and had moved closer, Derek thought that Stiles might have been distracted by his new job, new apartment in a new city. But again Stiles still called. 

Stiles had a loyalty that astounded Derek sometimes. IT was like if he let you in that was that and he never left.

This was not what Derek had experience of. Usually people were only interested in him as far as they could use him. Once they got bored, saw more than his face or decided that he was no longer worth bothering with. Yet Stiles was still here, still lighting up his day with his random tangents and quick comments. 

He looked up at the clock across the street to check the time and it seemed to have stopped at 5:40. Derek had to stop from looking at his phone again. He wasn't sure how long he had been sat here but his palms were beginning to get sweaty. 

He wasn't sure when things had changed. When sitting outside a restaurant waiting to be rejected was a risk that he was willing to take. Derek was still surprised that he had taken the risk. He had assumed that he would have been happy with anything that Stiles gave him, glad that he hadn't been discarded. He hadn't let himself want anything in years, let alone actually reach out and grab it. 

That was until one evening the week before when he had been eating his dinner, laptop open with Stiles eating his on the other end just lazily talking about their days. 

"I'm back this weekend" Stiles had said, shoving pasta in his mouth. 

Derek should have known that he was quite gone on Stiles when this wasn't off putting.   
"When are you back?"   
"Getting off at 4, so should be in good ol' Beacon Hills about 7, you around?"  
"Yeah I have the early shirt this week"   
"Cool" Stiles grinned. 

Derek had been struck by the fact that he really wanted this in person, him and Stiles sitting together just talking. Everyday normal. And he wanted it badly. 

"Have dinner with me" Derek blurted out "on Friday when you get in"  
Stiles smiled "of course. What's dad's shift?"   
Derek took a deep breath "dinner with me, just me"  
"Oh" Stiles froze for a second fork halfway to his mouth.  
Derek just sat there suddenly feeling cold. He felt that he had made a mistake, that he had ruined everything.   
Stiles put his fork back on to his plate slowly. He ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

Oh god Derek thought, here it comes, he braced himself for what Stiles would say next. 

Stiles looked up from under his lashes "really?" a small smile took over his face, quiet and just for Derek "yeah" Stiles took a deep breath eyes searching Derek's face through the screen "yeah, I really would"

"Yeah?" Derek felt lightheaded, all of a sudden.   
Smiles grinned back at him and started eating his pasta again. 

Derek grinned down at his plate and picked up his fork to continue eating as well. 

Any now he was here, waiting outside the restaurant hoping that Stiles would show up. The small spark of hope that he had been keeping to himself, along the memory of Stiles' private smile was beginning to fade the longer he waited. 

Derek was trying to stop thinking, but his mind kept turning the same thoughts over and over again. Why would someone with such a future such as Stiles want to be stuck with the small town loser like him with so much baggage? And it wasn't like he could pretend with Stiles, he had seen him at his worst. Stood by him through some of his most painful moments. There was no hiding, which was why he could understand if Stiles changed his mind. 

He was a wreck at best. A broken mess that had pulled enough shards back together to make something resembling a life. And while Derek was proud of the life that he had built, the progress he had made, he was under no allusions about that. Stiles had been his due north for a while now. His port in the storm, while everything was broken around him and everyone else walked away, there was Stiles, picking his way through the mess to help Derek salvage something. 

Derek knew that he had scars, he had large gaping wounds that would not heal. Yet Stiles was there. It was a balm something to hold onto to force himself out to the other side. To find the energy to pick himself up one more time. How after all these years he hadn't realised it he wasn't sure. It was so clear now what he was risking and he felt somewhat sick. 

Derek took another look at the frozen clock wondering if he could just stay here in this moment before everything was ruined. 

A familiar rumbling came to his ears and Derek clenched his eyes shut. The sound of the jeep trundling up the road came closer. 

Taking a deep breath, Derek opened his eyes to see Stiles’ parking his jeep across the road. Stiles got out, and obviously hadn't seen Derek sat on the bench as he got out and checked his hair in the side mirror. Stiles smoothed down his shirt, which still had the creases from the packet. Stiles was wearing a new shirt. Derek's mind seemed to focus on this fact, Stiles had a new shirt on for his dinner with Derek. 

Derek watched as Stiles crossed the road, drinking in the way his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and how the material of his trousers cling to his legs. The way he was turning his phone in his hand and biting his lip. 

As Stiles reached the restaurant he looked up and saw Derek and a big smile broke out on his face. 

Something ached inside of Derek as he stood up and walked towards Stiles. Stiles opened his arms and grabbed Derek flinging his arms around him. Derek's arms went around Stiles and he enjoyed the feeling of Stiles warm in his arms. 

Stiles stepped back smiling at Derek. Derek slowly slid his hands off Stiles, smiling back helplessly. 

Derek cleared his throat and pointed at the restaurant "shall we?"   
"Lets" 

Stiles was staring at Derek's hand and Derek couldn't help but turn his hand palm out and hold it out to Stiles. 

Stiles looked at it for a moment and then put his hand in Derek’s a blush spreading on his cheeks. 

Derek was sure that his heart was racing a hundred miles an hour. He gave Stiles' hand a squeeze and they walked towards the restaurant.


End file.
